Thursday, March 16, 2006

Support your local Mayor!!

The Mayor of Mitchieville is all PMS'ing, whinging on about how his blog traffic sucks, so he's going to pack it in, throw in the towel, pull the plug, dump the load, vent the main reactor, etc.

His self-aggrandizing little temper tantrum is, as always, deeply amusing, but on the other hand, somewhat disturbing because it may be sincere. Sargon the Magnificent has clearly been spiking the Mayor's hefeweizen with some serious eye of newt, and I suspect that Fenris likely superglued his butt cheeks to the only working shitter in City Hall. Again. Cheeky little phallus that one.

So, that being said, head on over there and give him a hit off the old web-traffic crack pipe. Clearly, the Mayor is deeply troubled by the lack of personal validation, so go punch his ticket. Validate that emotional parking pass, baby. Run the hit counter up faster than my power meter when I hit the grow lights in the basement.

I suspect, however, that the truth be told, if one ducked under the large "CLOSED" sign chained across the front door of the Mitchieville City Hall and Community Center, and wandered ever so cautiously down the dimly lit and rubbish-strewn hallway, one might find the aforementioned public servant seated in a leather recliner in the newly renovated conference room in front of the wall-sized plasma screen, clad in nothing more than mismatched socks and a dirty jogbra, sucking down Crown Royal, eating stale saltines, and watching the third of six DVD's in the commemorative boxed set of the popular canadian sexumentary, "The Chronicles of Vagarnia."

But that's just me guessing.