Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Installment #237 of "Life's Little Lessons"

  • You wife has no sympathy for how busy you were the two days before Valentines' Day, and so "didn't have time" to get her a card. She expects you to realize that Feb. 14th occurs at the roughly same time every year, and to plan far enough head such that minor scheduling conflicts don't prevent you from buying her card. Like sometime in December maybe.
  • Corollary: A card today is better than a necklace three days late.
  • I love how "hunting with the Vice President" has become a new euphemism for flirting with death.
    • "Hey, did you tell that guy off for stealing your parking spot?
    • "Are you kidding? Do you see his biceps? I'd be better off hunting with the Vice President!"
    • Or better yet, "Whoa! Did you see that?! He just totally Cheney'd that guy!"
  • I heard on the radio that to top it all off, Cheney is facing a fine for not having a quail tag. Awesome. Maybe this will prompt him to initiate legislation to allow people to hunt on their own freakin' land without a permission slip from Big Bro.
  • Sometimes "wisdom" is less having the right answer than it is asking the right questions.
  • "I don't really care, either way" is a LIE. A DAMNED LIE!!