Monday, February 20, 2006

Happy Blogiversary!

Or is it Blirthday? Blogthday?

A quick review of the archives reveals that I have been banging my head against this same brick wall for a year now! Actually, Feb. 4th of last year was my first O'ficial post.

Aside from my brief jaunt as DGSOS.

So let's review. According to my Sitemeter stats (oh yeah, I am Sitemeter's bitch, let there be no doubt) after a year of dedicated and heartfelt effort, my daily visits have skyrocketed to a whopping.....16 per day. Maybe 20. 50 if I get a good link from Mudville Gazette.

Now, subtract the 8-10 times a day I visit to check my sitemeter, and that leaves about 8 people who show up with any regularity. These I call my Blog Family. Since blogging is like having a dinner party in the dark, and you're never quite sure who exactly is at the table, I will attempt to give the Partisan Pundit Blog Family Tree:

Carin - She's like the cool older sister who doesn't treat you like the geeky kid brother you are, and lets you listen to her edgy alternative CD's; but still won't buy beer for you and your underage friends. And she just laughed and smacked you in the head the time she caught you rifling through her underwear drawer.

Joe - He's like the crazy uncle that everybody likes, right up to the point where he starts talking politics. Then a tense, uncomfortable silence descends over everyone as he goes off about the glories of socialism and wealth redistrubtion. Do NOT give this man more than two green apple martinis, or there'll be no hearing the end of his plans to get Hillary Clinton elected.

The Mayor - Mitchieville's duly-elected politician-for-hire, he's the stepbrother of your father's uncle's second cousin on your mother's side, who only comes to the family reunion for the food and to meet chicks. He's always good for some hilarious personal anecdote or sea-story from his Navy days, despite the fact that Canada doesn't have a Navy (not really), although it's sometimes hard to understand what he's saying, what between the bad teeth and the slurred words from too much cheap strawberry zinfandel.

Kontan - She's (okay, remember, it's dark in here...I'm pretty sure it's a she) is like the quiet middle child who plays with her blocks and doesn't get into much trouble. Docile, obedient, and well-groomed, she's everyone's image of the perfect daughter. No one's believes she had anything to do with the unfortunate cat shaving incident, despite the incriminating cat fur under her fingernails. Or that episode with the itching powder on the toilet paper. And really, the ExLax in the brownies? Not sweet little Kontan....

River Rat - The embarassment of the adults, he's every kid's favorite grandad. Grizzled, unshaven, chewing on the soggy stub of a cheap imitation Havana, he always seems to have an extra quarter or stick of gum squirreled away in one of the pockets of his well-worn overalls. He doesn't say a lot, but when he speaks, the world-wise depths of his eyes, and the brooding wrinkles on his brow demand attention. He makes the grown ups uncomfortable because he's been around to long to worry about how telling the Truth might make folks's just somthing that's got to be done.

Retired Geezer - Your mom's uncle, he lives up in the hills of Idaho, squirreling away canned food and stocking up on ammunition for the day when NATO and the UN try to take over. Salt of the earth kind of guy, mom just smiles, rolls her eyes and sighs whenever RG goes off on one of his rambles. Fond of launching pumpkins from cannons and other worthwhile pursuits, RG is always good for a story about the good old days before the damn democrats ruined it all. Not to mention of the occasional swig of potato mash moonshine if ya ask him real nice.

JayBird - He's the stifled intellectual. Doesn't quite wear a pocket protector, but he does wear collared shirts. A lot. Okay, all the damned time. Starched. Button down. Collared shirts. Dockers. And scuffed boat shoes that should have been deep sixed three years ago. He'll spend $200 on a new caluclator, but can't seem to get around to buying a decent pair of shoes. He speaks with a quiet certainty that annoys those who want to disagree with him...but can't. Usually fairly calm and patient, that one vein on his left temple DOES tend to throb a bit after the third time he tries to explain the basics of supply-side economics to the creme of the frappuchino and falafel set.

Kel - I know you're oooooouuuut therrrre. I can hear you breathing.

That's everybody I know about. If I missed you, I apologize. But hey, you want people to notice?! SPEAK UP! Remember the whole dinner-party-in-the-dark analogy? Or was it a simile? A metaphor? Whatever. Suffice it to say that I can't tell alot about your personality based on the the slurping sounds and faint rustle of paper napkins down at your end of the table.

And so, HAPPY BLOGIVERSARY to me! I hope to keep all eight of you entertained for the next year or so. Unless I get a real job. Then, well, all bets are off.