Sunday, February 26, 2006

Off the radar for a while..

Got to go to a three week planning conference. Don't know how much I'll be able to blog. I'll try and stop in every now and then to make sure the Mayor isn't asleep next to the furnace, wrapped up in a surplus army blanket, hugging a half-empty can of sterno. Again.

Or that Joe hasn't put up his vintage CCCP propoganda posters with of Stalin. Again.

Or that River Rat has hooked his RV up to the plug-in in the garage.


You people, I swear sometimes....

Actor Don Knotts Dies at Age 81

Gone on to those Pearly Screens...

I always enjoyed watching Don Knotts in whatever role. He brought a roll-your-eyes nuttiness to "Three's Company." His foil to Andy Griffith's calm, southern charm was priceless as the deputy Sheriff of Mayberry county.

"Ya gotta nip it in the bud. NIP IT!"

I didn't realize that he also had 25 films to his credit.

Fair winds and following seas, Don. You will be missed.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Support Denmark, support freedom.

You may notice the new banner up in the header. Found that over at Memento Moron, who'm I'm sure stole it from somebody else first, but hey, that's the blogosphere for ya.

Now, before anyone says anything, it might be suggested that it's a tad incongruous to have a "No Tolerance for Intolerance" banner on my site when it has been suggested in rather extensive, caustic, and derogatory ways that I am an angry, intolerant tosser with deep-seated issues of homophobia and repressed longings for man-buggerage.

Let me say that I don't really see myself as intolerant of gays. I don't personally know any openly gay people. Being in the military, that's not really a prevelant demographic. To my knowledge, I've never been harmed, harassed, intimidated or in any other way put off by someone of the gay persuasion. Except for that dreary little Snotty Mcshot fellow, of course.

That said, if it twists yer knobs to fix yourself a same-meat sandwich, well hey, it takes all kinds to make a world. My position is simply this: Don't ask me to protect, preserve, or favor your lifestyle choices with special rights legislation or invasive curriculums in my child's third grade class. And please don't suggest that because I've got some real problems accepting men dressing up in womens' clothes or hosting bondage sex parties as "normal" that I'm a "hater." Or a repressed homosexual who is overcompensating. Sheesh.

Nor do I think of myself as a racist. I hold no collective grudges or gripes against blacks, whites, asian, indians, whatever. I DO, however, have a problem with idiots behaving like thugs, wilding through downtown streets like crazy people, regardless of their skin color.

And I believe wholeheartedly that Joe Citizen not only has the right, but is highly encouraged to defend himself against such threats.

I do not advocate violence against those with whom I do not agree. I in no way support, condone, or encourage random vigilantism.

I do, however, advocate preserving peace by creating an environment where it is untenable for "protestors" to smash store windows, drag innocent bystanders from their cars and beat them in the head with a brick, or burn down foreign embassies just because.

There is "tolerance," and then there's maintaining order. A frenzied mob of nutjobs who have completely lost their collective friggin' minds over a few cartoons do not deserve tolerance. Nor shall they receive any here.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Headlyin’ Newz

From Fox News:
California Execution Delayed Indefinitely
Most feel California unjustly accused.

Man Kills Roommate After Fight About Toilet Paper
Bush blamed.

City Hopes to Harness Power of Dog Poop
I always said San Francisco was full of sh…

Novel Program Treats Women Who Batter Men
Honors also give to those who use whipped cream, pudding, or olive oil to coat their men.

Scientists Rally in Support of Evolution
Evolution needs all the support it can get.

Pakistani Cartoon Protesters Chant Anti-American Slogans
Poorly drawn stick figures sport word balloons full of caustic rhetoric.

From CNN:
24 killed in Nigeria religious violence
Muslims=18, Christians=6

Supreme Court to weigh late-term abortions
No one sure why jurists performing such a grisly task.

Microsoft blunder leaks Vista information
And we’re just shocked, I tell you. Shocked.

Medicare to pay for variety of obesity surgeries
Welfare to continue to pay for lots of empty carbs and starches.

U.S. Outsources Homeland Security to North Korea
Fox seen as best choice for guarding hen-house.

Perhaps one of the singularly most dubious choices for a news photo.

I usually expect to have to pay money to see pictures like this. And please tell me that's not, well...."wings."

Your mainstream media, hard at work.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Happy Blogiversary!

Or is it Blirthday? Blogthday?

A quick review of the archives reveals that I have been banging my head against this same brick wall for a year now! Actually, Feb. 4th of last year was my first O'ficial post.

Aside from my brief jaunt as DGSOS.

So let's review. According to my Sitemeter stats (oh yeah, I am Sitemeter's bitch, let there be no doubt) after a year of dedicated and heartfelt effort, my daily visits have skyrocketed to a whopping.....16 per day. Maybe 20. 50 if I get a good link from Mudville Gazette.

Now, subtract the 8-10 times a day I visit to check my sitemeter, and that leaves about 8 people who show up with any regularity. These I call my Blog Family. Since blogging is like having a dinner party in the dark, and you're never quite sure who exactly is at the table, I will attempt to give the Partisan Pundit Blog Family Tree:

Carin - She's like the cool older sister who doesn't treat you like the geeky kid brother you are, and lets you listen to her edgy alternative CD's; but still won't buy beer for you and your underage friends. And she just laughed and smacked you in the head the time she caught you rifling through her underwear drawer.

Joe - He's like the crazy uncle that everybody likes, right up to the point where he starts talking politics. Then a tense, uncomfortable silence descends over everyone as he goes off about the glories of socialism and wealth redistrubtion. Do NOT give this man more than two green apple martinis, or there'll be no hearing the end of his plans to get Hillary Clinton elected.

The Mayor - Mitchieville's duly-elected politician-for-hire, he's the stepbrother of your father's uncle's second cousin on your mother's side, who only comes to the family reunion for the food and to meet chicks. He's always good for some hilarious personal anecdote or sea-story from his Navy days, despite the fact that Canada doesn't have a Navy (not really), although it's sometimes hard to understand what he's saying, what between the bad teeth and the slurred words from too much cheap strawberry zinfandel.

Kontan - She's (okay, remember, it's dark in here...I'm pretty sure it's a she) is like the quiet middle child who plays with her blocks and doesn't get into much trouble. Docile, obedient, and well-groomed, she's everyone's image of the perfect daughter. No one's believes she had anything to do with the unfortunate cat shaving incident, despite the incriminating cat fur under her fingernails. Or that episode with the itching powder on the toilet paper. And really, the ExLax in the brownies? Not sweet little Kontan....

River Rat - The embarassment of the adults, he's every kid's favorite grandad. Grizzled, unshaven, chewing on the soggy stub of a cheap imitation Havana, he always seems to have an extra quarter or stick of gum squirreled away in one of the pockets of his well-worn overalls. He doesn't say a lot, but when he speaks, the world-wise depths of his eyes, and the brooding wrinkles on his brow demand attention. He makes the grown ups uncomfortable because he's been around to long to worry about how telling the Truth might make folks's just somthing that's got to be done.

Retired Geezer - Your mom's uncle, he lives up in the hills of Idaho, squirreling away canned food and stocking up on ammunition for the day when NATO and the UN try to take over. Salt of the earth kind of guy, mom just smiles, rolls her eyes and sighs whenever RG goes off on one of his rambles. Fond of launching pumpkins from cannons and other worthwhile pursuits, RG is always good for a story about the good old days before the damn democrats ruined it all. Not to mention of the occasional swig of potato mash moonshine if ya ask him real nice.

JayBird - He's the stifled intellectual. Doesn't quite wear a pocket protector, but he does wear collared shirts. A lot. Okay, all the damned time. Starched. Button down. Collared shirts. Dockers. And scuffed boat shoes that should have been deep sixed three years ago. He'll spend $200 on a new caluclator, but can't seem to get around to buying a decent pair of shoes. He speaks with a quiet certainty that annoys those who want to disagree with him...but can't. Usually fairly calm and patient, that one vein on his left temple DOES tend to throb a bit after the third time he tries to explain the basics of supply-side economics to the creme of the frappuchino and falafel set.

Kel - I know you're oooooouuuut therrrre. I can hear you breathing.

That's everybody I know about. If I missed you, I apologize. But hey, you want people to notice?! SPEAK UP! Remember the whole dinner-party-in-the-dark analogy? Or was it a simile? A metaphor? Whatever. Suffice it to say that I can't tell alot about your personality based on the the slurping sounds and faint rustle of paper napkins down at your end of the table.

And so, HAPPY BLOGIVERSARY to me! I hope to keep all eight of you entertained for the next year or so. Unless I get a real job. Then, well, all bets are off.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Okay, so let me get this straight...

There are actually, no kidding, people out there suggesting that Cheney shot Wittington godfather-style to make a political point?

And they're serious?

Yeah, well, you know, after Cheney authorized the demo on the 'Nawlins levies....

And what with the alien experiments on their rectums during their abduction...

The scary thing is these people are allowed to vote and drive cars. And reproduce.


Saturday, February 18, 2006

Thought for the Day

"The Church is not a refuge to which the 'saved' retreat from a sinful world. It should be a place to which the sinful of the world can retreat to find refuge and be saved."


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Installment #237 of "Life's Little Lessons"

  • You wife has no sympathy for how busy you were the two days before Valentines' Day, and so "didn't have time" to get her a card. She expects you to realize that Feb. 14th occurs at the roughly same time every year, and to plan far enough head such that minor scheduling conflicts don't prevent you from buying her card. Like sometime in December maybe.
  • Corollary: A card today is better than a necklace three days late.
  • I love how "hunting with the Vice President" has become a new euphemism for flirting with death.
    • "Hey, did you tell that guy off for stealing your parking spot?
    • "Are you kidding? Do you see his biceps? I'd be better off hunting with the Vice President!"
    • Or better yet, "Whoa! Did you see that?! He just totally Cheney'd that guy!"
  • I heard on the radio that to top it all off, Cheney is facing a fine for not having a quail tag. Awesome. Maybe this will prompt him to initiate legislation to allow people to hunt on their own freakin' land without a permission slip from Big Bro.
  • Sometimes "wisdom" is less having the right answer than it is asking the right questions.
  • "I don't really care, either way" is a LIE. A DAMNED LIE!!

Monday, February 13, 2006

The Therapists knocks one outta the park (again).

I had planned to be a one-post wonder today, but I just had to link to this gem from The Therapist.

A Letter To My Editor

The artist; that objective, benevolent breather of concrete life into the nostrils of abstract thought—has absolutely no responsibility for their work—until—Muslims become offended. That about right?

I’ve repeatedly seen my God put to the rack in the artistic arena. I’ve seen Him smeared with human feces for artistic effect. I’ve seen Him dropped in a vat of the artist’s urine and photographed with a backlit aura—only to receive increased federal funding from the NEA.

But let some marginally-creative hack stick a finger in Mohammed’s eye, and I’m supposed to now start drawing an exclamatory chalk line around the edges of artistic propriety? I think not. In order for me to join such a malignant cadre, I’d have to trip over the mountain of DaVinci Code books between me and the brain-dead queue ready to take up the gun and ride against a couple of Danish cartoonists. It just isn’t worth my time and effort to think that tolerant artwork begins at the house of Allah.

Read the whole thing. Way to go, Ron.

Muslim blow-ups ...all the RAGE!!

Mark Steyn makes one of most darkly humurous play on words I've heard in a while in his latest missive, "Toon-deaf Europe is taking the wrong stand." Of course, this will likely put him next in line behind Salman Rushdie for a molotav enema.
From Europe's biggest-selling newspaper, the Sun: 'Furious Muslims have blasted adult shop [i.e., sex shop] Ann Summers for selling a blowup male doll called Mustafa Shag."

"Mustafa Shag." Must-have-a. Get it?! BWAHAHA!! Oh baby, bee-HAYVE!
Not literally "blasted" in the Danish Embassy sense,
Quite how Britain's Muslim Association found out about Mustafa Shag in order to be offended by him is not clear.
Kind like how I am deeply offended by all the scantily clad women in FHM every time I get my new issue in the mail.
It may be that there was some confusion: given that "blowup males" are one of Islam's leading exports, perhaps some believers went along expecting to find Ahmed and Walid modeling the new line of Semtex belts.
Oh! Ouch! OOOH! "blowup males" BWAHAHAHAA! I mean, of course, bwahaha in a you-sick-bastard kind of way. That shouldn't be funny.

But it is.

Of course, here's the kicker:
If I were a Muslim, I'd be "hurt" and "humiliated" that the revered prophet's name is given not to latex blowup males but to so many real blowup males: The leader of the 9/11 plotters? Mohammed Atta. The British Muslim who self-detonated in a Tel Aviv bar? Asif Mohammed Hanif. The gunman who shot up the El Al counter at LAX? Heshamed Mohamed Hedayet. The former U.S. Army sergeant who masterminded the slaughter at the embassy bombings in Kenya and Tanzania? Ali Mohamed. The murderer of Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh? Mohammed Bouyeri. The notorious Sydney gang rapist? Mohammed Skaf. The Washington sniper? John Allen Muhammed. If I were a Muslim, I would be deeply offended that the prophet's name is the preferred appellation of so many killers and suicide bombers on every corner of the earth.
To me, this shows more clearly than anything the cold, distant, and uncaring relationship that your average Muslim rabble rouser and/or Imam has with The Truth. In one breath they will condemn a cartoonist for portraying the prophet of Islam as a terrorist, and in the next, praise a martyred Muslim murderer for blowing himself and 30 others to smithereens in Allah/Mohammed's name. Yeah. That's rational.

And then there is The Kicker V2.0:
The European Union's Justice and Security Commissioner, Franco Frattini, said on Thursday that the EU would set up a "media code" to encourage "prudence" in the way they cover, ah, certain sensitive subjects. As Signor Frattini explained it to the Daily Telegraph, "The press will give the Muslim world the message: We are aware of the consequences of exercising the right of free expression. . . . We can and we are ready to self-regulate that right."
"Prudence"? "Self-regulate our free expression"? No, I'm afraid that's just giving the Muslim world the message: You've won, I surrender, please stop kicking me.
This kind of simpering, capitulationist drivel has the clarion ring of an abused wife who meekly defends her alcoholic husband by saying that she probably "had it coming. I made him mad, so I deserve it." Her co-dependent neediness and desire to avoid conflict lead her to suggest that "if I was just a better wife, he wouldn't have to hit me."

And so she stays with him, until one day, she "makes him mad" enough that he kills her.
The issue is not "freedom of speech" or "the responsibilities of the press" or "sensitivity to certain cultures." The issue, as it has been in all these loony tune controversies going back to the Salman Rushdie fatwa, is the point at which a free society musters the will to stand up to thugs.
When no one stands up to the playground bully, he keeps getting fat on other kids' lunch money.
I've met plenty of "moderate Muslims" in Jordan and Iraq and the Gulf states. But, as a reader wrote to me a year or two back, in Europe and North America they aren't so much "moderate Muslims" as quiescent Muslims. The few who do speak out wind up living in hiding or under 24-hour armed guard, like Dutch MP Ayaab Hirsi Ali.
Iraq is in many respects a very secularized culture. The majority of your populace are nominal Muslims with no particular affiliation or undue affection for any particluar sect or Imam. It's the fervently devout that end up as a pink mist. "Moderate Muslims" are the same as "cafeteria christians." They go along to get along, not taking a position on much of anything, willing to let other people fight over the nit-noids of theological underpinning in favor of preserving their own stability. It's when people start taking stands, and defending a certain viewpoint that temperatures start to rise.

In the moderate Christian worldview, if the pastor spins off on a theological tangent I don't like, I find a new bible study to attend, if I go at all. "Militant" Christianity most often takes the form of Fred PhelchPhelps-esqe protests at military funerals, or waving signs and bullhorns at a gay pride parade.

In the "moderate" Muslim worldview, if the Imam spins off on a theological tangent I don't like, I find a new mosque to attend, if I go at all. In the "militant" muslim worldview, if someone spouts "blashpemy" against Islam or the The Prophet...I torch his house, murder his family, and sow his fields with salt.

I know which afternoon potluck I'd rather attend.

linked at Basil's Blog, Mudville Gazette, and Point Five

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Cool Wave Shot --- Yes, I took it.

Snicker, laugh, giggle, chortle, guffaw...


Why the "Religion of Peace" meme tends to wear a little thin

British imam praises London Tube bombers
A LEADING imam in the mosque where the July 7 bombers worshipped has hailed their terrorist attack on London as a “good” act in a secretly taped conversation with an undercover reporter.
Now why, oh why, do you suppose anybody, ANYBODY would oppose the construction of a new mosque in their previously lilly-white, Anglo neighborhod? Haters.
A week after the attack he had told newspapers that the perpetrators ought to be punished. But in a secretly taped conversation, he said: “What they [the bombers] did was good. They have warned that we are here, we Muslims. People have taken notice that we are here. They died so that people would take notice . . . big meetings and conferences make no change at all. With this, at least people’s ears have pricked up.”
That's right. If the rallies and posters don't work, it's not because, you know, people just flat don't want to buy what you're selling, it's because you just plain haven't blown up enough shit to get their ATTENTION. Slacker.

I'm sorry, but this just happens too often to be effectively tagged as an "isolated incident."

Now I realize that with the likes of Pat Robertson and Fred Phelps the ol' Christian faith can't entirely throw stones, but I AM suggesting, overall, that pound for pound, per capita, the density of degenerate hate-mongering douche-bags is enough higher in Islam than Christianity that I get to waggle my finger and spout my myopic, bile-filled viewpoint with more than just a little justification. Sadly, however, I DON'T get to go wilding through middle-American suburbia torching mosques and planned parenthood clinics. And schools. And Salvation Army collection stations. And latte stands. And half empty recycle bins. And the dried up vine creepers pulling down the dilapidated fence around old lady Ferguson's failed pea patch.


This just in...

Nor'easter Slams East From Va. to Maine
A major storm slammed the mid-Atlantic and Northeast states on Sunday with
nearly 2 feet of windblown snow, nearing record levels as it blacked out
thousands of customers and shut down air travel from Washington to Boston.

Global Warming blamed.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

In case I forgot to mention it....


Gratuities and monetary adulation are appropriate and appreciated. Just as soon as I get around to setting up the Pay-Pal "Tip Jar" (also known as, Please-Pay-Me-For-Doin'-Shit-Ize-Already- Gonna - Be-Doin'-For-Free).

"Rioting for Peace"

On the one hand, you have to think that all these Muslims rioting over tasteless cartoons should probably be diagnosed with some sort of emotional disorder and immediately be started on a broad spectrum of anti-psychotics, depressants and mood stabilizers...

...or just plain shot through the head...

...on the other hand, your average American sports fan is in no position to throw stones at people rioting for the flimsiest of reasons.

Of course, it's not too often that a sports riot spreads to other cities across the globe.

You have to be willfully self-deceived not to know that there are dedicated professionals out there who are planning, organizing, and instigating many (most?) of these supposedly spontaneous riots; professionals who are quite likely acting in coordination with one another.

I find myself wondering what would happen if these riots caught hold here? I have this image of a Korean shopkeeper on the roof of his store with a bulletproof vest and a .308. Next door is a black guy who owns a barber shop wielding a Mossberg in one hand and a meat cleaver in the other. A pissed-off muslim rioter cocks back a molotav, and suddenly a large exit wound blossoms in the middle of his back, as the pungent smell of gunpowder residue fills the air. Three, four more fall, and suddenly, rioting in the streets loses its luster. Defending Mohammed's honor against a cartoonist's scribbles suddenly seems less important than avoiding a face full of double-ought buckshot. A rock flies through a display window, and almost like a ricochet, an angry retired fire-fighter comes flying back out swinging a Louisville Slugger like to put a smile on Babe Ruth's face.

At least I can HOPE this is how it would go down. If the average American joe still has any balls.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Free Speech? Whatever.

Muslim definition of Censorship