Monday, September 19, 2005

From the "Cry Me A River" Department

This just in, Dan Rather is apparently in full lip-quiver about the climate of fear that pervades the modern day newsroom. FEAR, I TELL YOU!! FEAR! PURE, UNREMITTING HORROR!!

Emotional Rather blasts 'new journalism order'
Former CBS News anchor Dan Rather said Monday that there is a climate of fear running through newsrooms stronger than he has ever seen in his more than four-decade career.
I hope he's not investigating that wierd noise, walking backwards while clad only in his underwear, and carrying a butcher knife in an overhand grip...
Addressing the Fordham University School of Law in Manhattan, occasionally forcing back tears,
Ah, the intrepid war correspondent, voice of the masses, sniveling like a metrosexual watching "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." Impressive.
Rather was accompanied by HBO Documentary and Family president Sheila Nevins, both of whom were due to receive lifetime achievement awards at the News and Documentary Emmy Awards on Monday evening.
Nevins said that even in the documentary world, there's a certain kind of intimidation brought to bear these days, particularly from the religious right.
Ah, whew. Thank you. For a minute there I thought we might have to endure an article about the mainstream media without a slam against the Fundies. I knew you wouldn't let me down. We all just KNOW how influential the Bible-thumpers are in determining mass media content, now don't we?

Nevins took up the cause for Rather, who was emotional several times during the event. "When a man is close to tears discussing his work and his lip quivers, he deserves bosses who punch back. I feel I would punch back for Dan," Nevins said.
That's cuz Dan probably hits like a girl. Me, I just want to punch Dan. His. Lip. Quivers. Snurk.

Rather praised the coverage of Hurricane Katrina by the new generation of TV journalists and acknowledged that he would have liked to have reported from the Gulf Coast. "Covering hurricanes is something I know something about," he said.
Ah yes, that whole "moral authority" thing.
"It's been one of television news' finest moments," Rather said of the Katrina coverage. He likened it to the coverage of President Kennedy's assassination in 1963.

"They were willing to speak truth to power," Rather said of the coverage.
You mean like Anderson Cooper running around trying to find someone, anyone who would criticize Pres. Bush or validate Cooper's pre-established biases? Real meaty stuff, that.

Nevins said she didn't shy away from such R-rated topics as "G-String Divas" and "Taxicab Confessions" but noted that sex and passion have been topics of literature since Chaucer's day. "The most R-rated is a body bag, not a naked body," Nevins said.
Can't IMAGINE how she ran up against the religious right. Hmm.

So Nevins gets a Lifetime Achievement Award for making soft-core thinly disguised as documentaries, and Rather gets the LAA for a legacy of biased reporting and forged documents. Nice work if you can get it.

Clearly, this article was designed to appeal to the soft-hearted who will be won over by Dan's touching emotionalism in the face of the big ol' meany heads in newsroom management who apparently are imposing...a...right..wing..religious...agenda? Yeah, I've kind of thought the same thing for a while now. Or not.

Instead, it paints a portrait of a has-been whiner who relies on "strong but nurturing" types such as Nevin to do his talking (and fighting) for him while he gets in touch with his feminine side.

Sometimes, Dan, it's best just to stay out of the limelight.

UPDATE: Point Five has a hilarious take off on the article. Check it out.