Monday, May 02, 2005

An intimate, personal epiphany

Well, I've listened to the debates, read the blogs and the discussions back and forth about relative morality in all its glorious wonder. I've read about the stranglehold the Christian Right is seeking to squeeze around the throat of America. I've read Maureen Dowd and Maralyn Lois Polak. I've tuned into Air America while perusing the editorial pages of the L.A. Times; and as a result, I've come to realize some disturbing truths about myself. Therefore, in what can only be described as an attempt at some kind of atonement, a certain penance if you will, I have decided to share these deeply personal revelations about my character here, for all the world to see.

You see, I've discovered that I'm a homophobe and a bigot because I don't think men should have sex with men, or little boys. And I certainly don't think we should be teaching our grade-school children that its healthy, normal and fun. I guess that makes me intolerant, too.

I've realized that I'm an Inquisition-era theocrat because I don't think women should be protected by law when they want to kill their unborn children; and I don't think doctors and nurses should get paid to help them do it.

I've discovered that I am a racist and a xenophobe because I think we should do something to stem the tide of illegal immigration crossing our borders. I've come to understand that I am insenstive to the needs of the poor and minorites because I don't think illegal aliens should get to vote, have driver's licesnses, or pay in-state tuition (if they pay tuition at all). Or that maybe they should be deported.

I've looked inside my soul, and seen reflected back that I am an ignorant flat-earther who'd as soon burn Galileo at the stake as read a science textbook, all because I think that the theory of evolution is deeply flawed in its present form, and that exploring the concept of intelligent design in a public school isn't, in fact, blasphemy against the humanist religion we teach there.

I have seen these things, I have had these revelations, and upon reflection, have realized one very important thing about myself:

I'm okay with that.