Sunday, April 24, 2005

You might be a Liberal IF:

In the vein of Jeff Foxworthy's classic works of scial commentary which usually begin with the now-common-vernacular of "If you've ever ... {{insert unfortunate social mannerism here}}..., then you might be a Redneck," I intend to begin my own series entitled, "You might be a Liberal Loonie IF:"

And with that, let us plunge ever so deeply into the waiting receptacle of Liberal idiocy:

You Might Be A Liberal Loonie IF:"

- You believe that global warming will be responsible for ushering in the next ice age.

- You praise 30 million abortions since 1973 as a victory for a woman's right to choose, and in the next breath wonder why it doesn't seem like there are enough 20-30 year old wage earners paying into Social Security to keep it solvent?

- You believe that embracing diversity means keeping your opinions to yourself.

- You believe that a hetrosexual Christian Federal Judge can't be objective when adjudicating social issues, but a homosexual atheist Federal Judge is beyond reproach.

- You strongly suspect that high-ranking Jews are involved in a Vast Zionist ConspiracyTM to control the governments of the world, but you've got a real hard time accepting that the Valiant Palestinian Freedom Fighters of HamasTM might be tied into a globabl inter-network of terrorists organizations.